Lean On Me
by nodistancelefttorun
Summary: CrissColfer. Chris likes Darren, but Darren doesn't know and is dating lots of girls in search of a new girlfriend. But somehow he always end up at Chris' doorstep. * * * ON TEMPORARY HIATUS * * *
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well I've read lots of CrissColfer fics but I've never written one, so I thought I'd try it. Sorry if anyone finds RP fics offensive.**

* * *

Chris had just finished a particularly exhausting day at the set of Glee. There had been _a lot_ of dancing rehearsals and those always left him feeling horrible worn out. They had been practicing a new choreography for several hours straight and now his body was aching all over. The bright side of it was that he and his costar Darren had made a game out of it to try and ignore just how pissed they were that the rehearsal had dragged out so much on time. They competed who could avoid getting hit by Cory's so-called dance moves the longest. He was, mildly put, the worst dancer either of them had ever seen. He constantly tripped over things and kicked people in the ribs without even realizing his leg was in the air. Chris had lost by receiving Cory's elbow to his head 15 minutes into the rehearsal.

Darren had laughed so hard he had actually been forced off set to calm down. Darren's beautiful laugh had almost made that elbow worth it, but as Chris slammed his car door shut after arriving outside his apartment, a thunder like pain in his temple reminded him of just how much that elbow had hurt and suddenly it wasn't really worth it anymore.  
He groaned as another flash of pain hit him as he hauled his keys out of his pocket to unlock his apartment door a few minutes later. He entered and slammed the door again, causing another intense wave of pain through his sore head.

"Smooth, Colfer", he muttered and dropped the keys on a nearby table.

He felt a twitch in his stomach that was probably hunger or something, but decided to ignore it as he didn't have the energy to either cook or order something. He settled for a Diet Coke from the fridge that he popped open and took a sip from. He moaned slightly as the cold liquid went down his throat. He really loved Diet Coke. Like, _really _loved it.

"Maybe I should just give up on guys and marry you instead, gorgeous", he thought out loud, giving the can a seductive smile.

He frowned at himself.

Wow, he really was desperate, wasn't he?

He took another sip of his Diet Coke and went out into his living room. The apartment was rather clean – or well, _really _clean – because Chris couldn't stand to live in a mess. Not that this was much of a home, anyway. He mostly just slept here, and sometimes not even that. It wasn't that uncommon for him to crash at his trailer at the Glee set if a work day got prolonged enough for him to be too tired to drive home. They weren't supposed to stay the night there – in fact it was kind of forbidden – but Chris was allowed to break rules every now and then. Maybe they all thought he was endearing, or maybe they cut him some slack because he probably worked harder than anyone else on the cast. Not that he performed best out of the cast, but if you added his Glee duties and all the other projects he took on, he worked almost nonstop which the others didn't quite do.

It was a Wednesday night and the majority of the cast had gone out for some drinks. They had asked him to come along with them but he had politely declined, claiming he had to work. Besides, it was always fun to be sober and fairly alert whilst everyone else were dealing with terrible hangovers.

The thought made him smirk. He would have so much fun teasing them about it tomorrow at set. Especially Cory, he thought, as a revenge for the horrible headache he had caused Chris with that damned elbow made of steel.

He almost regretted not going with them because the Glee parties were always so fun, but then he set eyes on the enormous pile of papers scattered across the couch and coffee table in his living room. He moaned quietly as he practically waded through paper to reach the couch. He really did have a lot of work to do.

But, as the true staller that he was, he decided to take a hot relaxing shower first. He popped two aspirins in his mouth and washed it down with the rest of the Diet Coke before hopping into the shower. As soon as the hot water touched his skin, he felt himself relax completely. Yeah, this was just what he needed before he got to work.

He didn't take too long though because he felt _so tired_ and didn't want to fall asleep in the shower. He could just picture the headlines; "Glee star Chris Colfer falls asleep in shower and is later found naked by fangirls."

He rolled his eyes at his own silly imagination as he wrapped himself in a warm comfy bath robe and took a towel from a cabinet to dry his hair.

He went into the kitchen to grab another can of Diet Coke and took it with him into the living room again where he slumped down onto the couch, pushing piles of paper out of the way. He really needed to clean up here.  
Chris was usually an intense workaholic who couldn't stand even a few hours away from work, but today he was just so exhausted he couldn't even lift a finger for the life of him. That shower had drained his last ounce of energy. He managed to turn on the TV but couldn't bother to change the channel to something interesting.

His mind soon drifted from the TV in front of him to his fellow cast members.

Almost the entire cast was out clubbing, except for Chris, Lea, Dianna and Darren.  
Lea and Dianna were running lines for tomorrow's scenes and Darren... well, Darren was on a date.

A straight date, with a straight girl, because he was a straight guy.

Chris had to constantly remind himself of Darren's sexuality (STRAIGHT) because Darren's flirtatious ways often made him think otherwise. But Darren flirted with _everyone_, that was just how he was, and Christ just wasn't an exception. That didn't make him gay, that just made him open-minded. Darren was comfortable with everyone and didn't believe much in labels, but when he did label himself it was the label STRAIGHT that he adopted.

And yeah, Chris had a massive crush on him from day one. No, scratch that, since before they even met. He was a big fan of the Harry Potter musicals that Darren had co-written and starred in. He had instantly crushed on the nerdy Harry Potter with the gorgeous curls.

And well, yeah, the attraction hadn't exactly decreased when he got to know the real Darren who wasn't just a whole head of curls, but who was funny and kind and passionate and almost as much of a workaholic as Chris. But most importantly, he was the nerdiest goofball on the planet. They had instantly bonded over their nerdy interests when Darren joined the Glee cast, and soon they were best friends that were hardly ever separated. Since their characters were so close, it was natural for them to be close too as they worked together so much.

But that was all they were ever going to be because, once again: STRAIGHT.

Darren dated girls.

So Chris had to settle for an on-screen relationship that made fangirls all over the world swoon combined with an amazing friendship off-screen that not too rarely contained innocent flirting. And he was perfectly okay with this. Yet he couldn't help but feel a sting of jealousy at the thought of the oh-so-lucky girl who was currently on a date with Darren. It was their first and Darren had promised to tell him all about it tomorrow. Not that Chris cared or wanted to know, but because they were best friends and that's what friends do.

Chris had just pushed Darren out of his mind and refocused on the TV when there was a loud knock on the door. He sighed and forced himself to get off the couch and go see who it was, completely oblivious to the fact that he was wearing nothing but a bath robe and that his hair was a mess, but most importantly that he had no idea who was at the door and answering it when half-naked probably wasn't the best idea ever. Nevertheless he went to unlock the door and then opened it, only to find himself staring into a pair of familiar hazel eyes that belonged to none other than-

"Darren!", Chris exclaimed and, suddenly aware of his current state, pulled the robe closer around him. "What are you doing here?"

This wasn't that unusual actually, one of them spontaneously turning up at the others apartment just to hang out. But this was different. Darren had gone out on that date just a little over an hour ago. What the hell was he doing at Chris' doorstep?

"It's only ten thirty", he added.

Darren's recently perky shoulders slouched down a bit and he mumbled, "I got stood up."

Chris just laughed, convinced it was just another one of Darren's crazy jokes.

But when Darren didn't join in on the laugh, Chris' died away.

"What, are you serious?", he asked, frowning.

Never in a million years would he have thought it possible for Darren freaking Criss to get stood up. Darren just pouted in the most adorable way, almost forcing a laugh out of Chris again.

"Wow, okay. So what are you doing here?", he asked. It came out a lot different than intended.

"Oh I just thought we could hang out but if you're busy...", Darren mumbled.

"No, no, of course, come in."

Chris stepped aside to let him into the apartment.

"I'll just go change", he muttered and hurried off to his bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I posted this to it-could-happen . net too, if anyone wants to read it there instead. It has the same title as this one, woop.**

* * *

When he returned to the kitchen again, wearing a simple black t-shirt and jeans that were almost tight enough for Kurt's approval, he first thought Darren had changed his mind and left because he couldn't see him anywhere. But then he went into the living room and found Darren obnoxiously sprawled out on the couch with his feet on the coffee table and his gaze lazily on the TV. Okay, it would have been obnoxious if it had been anyone but Darren.

"Make yourself at home, will you?", Chris joked as he entered.

Darren's dirty shoes immediately fell off the table and he sat up straight. He looked like a little boy caught eating ice cream before dinner.

"Sorry", he mumbled.

"It's fine, just take your shoes off and go put them by the door", Chris said.

Darren, looking a little confused, went to drop his shoes off by the door before going back to the living room. Halfway back he was stopped by Chris shouting something about "Diet Coke" and "fridge", so Darren turned in the middle of a step and went to the kitchen instead.

"How is it possible that you only have Diet Coke and a pack of salad in your fridge?", Darren asked as he returned with two silvery cans.

Chris shrugged.

"I don't eat much", he said.

"Have you even had anything to eat today?", Darren asked suspiciously.

Chris just rolled his eyes.

"We had lunch together at set, remember?", he said.

Darren eyed him carefully for a few moments and then he pulled out his phone.

"What are you-"

"Ordering pizza", Darren said firmly. "What do you want?"

"I don't-"

"Hi! I'd like…hmm…"

Chris tried to stop him but Darren was ruthless. He ordered the pizzas and then hung up, having leapt off the couch to escape the tickle attack Chris had mounted as to stop him from ordering those ridiculously big pizzas.

"You'll have to eat everything yourself", Chris muttered.

"Doubt it", Darren said as Chris' stomach, right on cue, erupted in a loud growl.

Darren grinned triumphantly and then went over to Chris' collection of DVD's.

"Hmm, what do you want to watch?"

"Wow you're really pushy, you know that?"

Darren shot him that goofy smile of his that could make anyone melt into a pathetic puddle.

All Chris could do was make a humming sound and bury his face in a nearby pillow to hide his blush. Darren just _did_ things to him.

And then he could feel a heavy thump on the couch next to him and suddenly Darren was just all over him. His fingers were digging into Chris' sides, tickling him like there was no tomorrow.

Chris let out a yelp and tried to squirm out of his grasp but Darren pinned him down with his body – and even though Chris was taller, Darren was proven to be much stronger – making him laugh hysterically.

"_Darren_! Darren you- AAH!"

He couldn't even form a whole sentence before the next tickling attack began and he was reduced to laughing uncontrollably again.  
He rolled over and fell onto the floor, but luckily he dragged Darren down with him so they both landed on the floor with a heavy"_dunk_".  
Darren lost his advantage and Chris took the opportunity to flip them over so he was straddling Darren's hips, pinning his wrists to the floor.

He smirked down at his prisoner, who was trying hard to suppress a grin. He made a mock scared face, earning a chuckle from Chris.

"You're not so cocky now, are you?", he said confidently.

Darren just smiled wickedly. Then he somehow managed to flip them again so he was on top.

"Watch your words, Colfer", he smirked.

"Or what?", Chris teased. He knew he was pushing his luck.

But before Darren could tickle attack him again, there was a series of knocks on the door and Darren quickly scrambled to his feet. He just  
dropped everything in his eagerness to get to the door.

"Pizza!", he cried excitedly. He didn't make it very far before he tripped over his own feet and face planted the floor.

Chris remained on the floor, clutching his side that was starting to hurt from laughing so hard.  
Darren continued on as if nothing had happened, forcing his face off the carpet.

"Hey!", he grinned as he pulled the door open.

The delivery boy jumped a little at the sight of a totally enthusiastic Darren Criss standing in the doorway.

He was probably about 15 years old or something, with brown hair and a leather jacket. He looked like he was that kid in school that was so cool everyone wanted to be him. He had that strained cool look about him, but as soon as the door opened his mouth fell open and he lost some, if not all, of that coolness.

"Wow, shit, you're-"

"-really hungry. Yeah, totally", Darren finished goofily.

The boy grinned. Then he looked down at the pizza cartons in his hands and back at Darren.

"Could I like, get your autograph or something? My girlfriend really loves you...", he said awkwardly.

"Yeah, totally! Do you have something to write on?", Darren asked, biting his lip as he dug through his pockets for a pen.

Chris' popped up behind him, glancing over his shoulder.

"Need a pen?", he mused.

Darren turned his head and grinned. "Yeah, do you have one?"

Chris handed him one and turned to leave, but then the delivery boy gave a high-pitched squeak that was way too gay to come from such a cool looking guy. He had turned on full fanboy-mode.

"Oh my god I'm sorry but fuck, you're Chris Colfer! I'm your biggest fan! Or shit, I mean my girlfriend is, uh, fuck-"

He was red as a tomato now.

Darren just grinned and pulled Chris back to the door and made him sign the scrap of paper the boy had given him too.

"Wow, cool, thanks", he said and folded the paper and clutched it tightly in his hand. Then he shakily asked for the payment.

Darren took the pizzas off his hands, payed him and left a 20 dollar tip. The boy smiled widely and received another toothy smile from Darren.

"Thanks again", he said and held up the paper.

"Thanks for the pizza", Darren grinned.

The boy shot them both another look, looking as though he only barely suppressed a giggle, and then bounded down the stairs. Darren closed the door and skipped back to the living room.

"I'll get the plates", Chris called.

"No! Come here!", Darren cried. Chris complied and followed him into the living room.

Darren had already opened one of the cartons and was currently shoving a slice of pizza violently into his mouth.

"'e don't 'eed plates", he managed to get out in between bites.

Chris rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch next to him, picking up the TV remote and pressing Play. The disc already in the DVD player was Beauty and the Beast, and even though Chris had seen it yesterday he didn't complain. It was one of his favorite movies and Disney never got old anyway.

He took a slice of pizza and took a bite. He was more hungry than he had thought, and was soon quite enthusiastically nibbling on the slice.  
Chris, as usual, didn't get too sloppy and was careful not to grease himself down completely.

Darren showed no such restraints. Instead he gulped down half a pizza in the same amount of time it took Chris to finish off one fourth of the other half.

"Not hungry, huh?", Darren commented as Chris reached for a second slice.

"And you're one to talk, Criss?", Chris snorted, indicating the crumbs on the table in front of him, the only sign of the slices he had violently devoured.

A mix between tomato sauce and pesto was running down Darren's chin as he grabbed another slice and attacked it with his mouth as if he was a lion and the pizza his prey.

Chris really loved Beauty and the Beast but he couldn't help but stare at Darren and his terrible manners. They had known each other for quite some time now and yeah, they were best friends so they had shared plenty of meals together, but it never seized to shock Chris just how undapper Darren was in contrast to his character, the ever-dapper Blaine with his gelled hair and colorful bow ties.

Darren finished off his pizza, letting a moan of satisfaction escape him before sloppily falling backwards on the couch. Then he noticed Chris staring and frowned.

"What?"

Chris rolled his eyes and picked up a napkin from the table to clean off Darren with.

"You are such a slob", he said as he gently wiped away the mess from his chin. A clump of sauce had glued itself right underneath Darren's gorgeous lips.

"_Get a grip, Colfer!_" he mentally scolded himself.

He cupped Darren's chin and carefully rubbed the sauce out of his skin. He looked up from Darren's inviting – no, not inviting, but sealed and _straight_ lips – and found Darren staring at him. Those hazel orbs were way too close for his comfort.

Chris let go of his best friend, costar and schoolboy crush with a sheepish grin.

They were no strangers to intimacy, because Darren was born and raised a theater kid and he was, by his own words, a cuddle-whore. Chris really wasn't, but then again, who could ever pull away when someone as adorable as Darren Criss snuggled up next to you?

Heck, they had even kissed, because their characters _were_ in a relationship after all and they had shot plenty of kissing scenes together, so a little cuddling shouldn't be that big of a deal. But that was Kurt and Blaine, and this was Chris and Darren. Gay Chris and straight Darren. And Chris fully knew and respected that, but he still didn't trust himself to be within kissing distance of this beautiful man.

He got to his feet to clean away the pizza cartons, but didn't get far until he heard a loud, displeased moan behind him. He turned around, his hands on his hips. "What, Dare?"  
His puppy eyes merged from under his arm as he had laid down on the couch, his arms flailing weirdly over his head.

He sat up halfway, reaching out for Chris, making that face that Chris could never resist. "Cuddle?"

Chris snorted. "Oh Dare, you have women for that, don't you?"

Darren pulled another face, playing hurt. "Way to kick a man who's already down, Chris."

"Oh, right, you got stood up. Oops. Yeah, okay, I'll just go do the dishes and then I'll be right back okay?", Chris said, giving in to the curly haired mans charm as usual.

Darren nodded and dove back into the pillows.


	3. Chapter 3

Two days later, on a regular Friday night, Chris once again found himself locked up in his apartment as usual, working on his next novel. There was this particular chapter he just could not get right, and it was really getting to him. He was just about to give up and go drown himself in the bathtub when there was a distant buzzing somewhere in his apartment.

He groaned quite audibly. He had been seated for over five hours straight and his body was stiff and not in the slightest prepared to carry him in a frantic search for his phone.

He reached around in his pockets, hoping against odds it would be there, but without any luck. However he did find a post-it note with an idea for a future chapter that he had forgotten about. He quickly put it next to the computer and gingerly got up from the comfortable couch to go find his stupid phone.

The buzzing continued, which meant it was an incoming phone call. He really hoped it wouldn't be Ryan Murphy calling to say he had to come in to the Glee set again. It was 12 pm, so it wasn't impossible. Ryan had forced them to come in on much weirder times than that, and one could argue it would be nothing but fair if he chose to call them in today since he had let them all go home at 7 pm, something that very rarely happened.

However nice that had been, Chris was certain he would have to hurt someone if he would be forced to go back to set today. He was _exhausted_ – months of endless working on countless projects does that to a person – and he was not in the mood to go on set and watch Darren make heart eyes at him.

It was kind of entertaining, of course, he just didn't have the energy for it right now. Sometimes he wasn't sure if Darren was just an excellent actor or if he actually loved Chris. Of course it was the first one, but Darren's heart eyes were _really_ convincing. But the sensible part of Chris knew that Darren was just channeling his inner Blaine, just as Chris was channeling his inner Kurt. And Blaine had every reason to heart eye Kurt every second of every day, and since the writers didn't give them as many intimate moments as the other couples, both Chris and Darren had decided to do their best to give the fans at least some kind of interaction.

The result was Darren – or Blaine, depending on how you saw it – constantly staring at Chris – Kurt – as though he really was the love of his life. Which was great for the show and its fans, but it kind of fucked with Chris' head when Darren took on the same habit off-camera. That wasn't the deal, but he supposed Darren had just adopted Blaine's manners to the extent that he had a hard time separating the two of them.

People on set always told them how they looked like lovers, and for some reason Chris was always the one blushing at those comments while Darren just grinned and made some witty retort. One time Darren had actually wrapped an arm around Chris' shoulder, winking and saying, "Well, we _do_ look cute together".

That particular moment stuck with Chris for weeks before he finally managed to shake it. Why did Darren have to be so flirtatious all the time?

Chris was an _excellent_ actor and he was one of the few people on the Glee set who almost always kept his face even when everyone else was goofing off, but when it came to Darren... well, Darren had this talent for bringing out Chris' inner fifteen-year-old fanboy.

And someone saying "wow, you guys, you look like lovers. Well, except that Darren is straight", made his heart flutter like a freaking bird and he wouldn't stop blushing for several minutes. Darren, by his own words, "found it endearing".

"Where the hell is that phone?", he muttered to himself. He was in no mood to tear up his whole apartment looking for it, but his control needs kicked in and he _needed_ to know who had called him or he wouldn't get any sleep all night. If statistics were anything to go by he wouldn't sleep much anyway since he mostly worked into the early hours, but still.

The buzzing had stopped but he was still determined to find his phone, even if he probably wouldn't return the call. He had promised himself not to go to bed until he had finished the chapter he was working on and at least a first rough draft for the next one.

He finally gave up the search and went to the fridge to grab a can of Diet Coke, and as he closed the fridge door he caught a glimpse of a small flash of light in the corner of his eye. He opened the door again and groaned. His phone was perched on top of an unopened 20-pack of Diet Coke.

So he had reached that level of exhaustion again. The put-stuff-in-the-fridge-and-forget-about-them-phase was never any fun.

He grabbed the phone and closed the door, unlocking the phone in the process.

There were three missed calls from Ashley and two messages from Darren.

Oh, Darren. What had happened this time? He was on another date, of course. He had been going on a lot of those recently.  
He was hunting for a new girlfriend since his last relationship had hit the rocks. Darren was not one to be alone. He always needed someone around him and, of course, that someone was preferably a girlfriend he could make out with.

Chris wasn't going to say anything, but he thought the whole thing was a little silly. Darren went on five dates a week, to say the least. Sometimes he even crammed in two dates in one day. It was hilarious watching him go to lunch with one girl and then stress his heart out to redress and get to the next restaurant in time for his dinner date with the next girl.

Oh, did he say hilarious? Maybe 'excruciatingly painful' would be a better term for it. Because however entertaining Darren's hysteria could be - especially when he called Chris in the cab on the way to his next date, all but screaming "I smell like lunch, Chris, she's gonna notice! I SMELL LIKE BREAD" and it was so funny Chris couldn't help but laugh and make a Peeta Mellark joke which Darren did not appreciate in his stressed state - it still stung that it wasn't Chris he was trying to impress every night. Quite the opposite actually.

Every time a date fell through, whatever the reason was, he'd turn to Chris, which really hurt because he _hated_ always being the second choice.

One would think being a famous actor would change that, but obviously not. Darren only came to him when he was in desperate need of a cuddle and a bottle of wine, and there were no girls available. Chris sounded like a girl, right, so there wasn't much difference there.

_Okay, Colfer, calm down. He doesn't see you as a girl, you know that. Snap out of it._

He had probably had a little too much wine himself, now that he came to think about it. And wine combined with sleep deprival wasn't such a good idea after all.

Going on autopilot, he pressed the button to redial Ashley's number and put the phone to his ear. Before he could think better of it and end the call, she answered.

"So now you answer, huh? I've called-"

"-three times, I know. Sorry, I was working."

He could practically feel Ashley rolling her eyes on the other side of the line. "Of _course_ you were. A Friday night and Chris Colfer is sitting at home, alone, working. Why don't you come hang out with us instead?"

"Exactly who are 'us'?"

"You know, the usual. Mark, Chord, Cory, Dianna- you know. I saw Darren earlier but he's gone now, poor guy", Ashley said, her voice dropping a little at the end.

"Is Darren with you? I thought he was out on a date again", Chris said, frowning. He popped open the Diet Coke and returned to the living room. He put the TV on mute and flopped down onto the couch.

"He was here for ten minutes and then he remembered he had a date and ran off again", Ashley said, giggling a little. Not so little, actually. It just went on and on until-

"Oh god, you're drunk, aren't you?", Chris accused.

"A little", she admitted.

"A little?"

Another fit of giggles. "Actually, I'm pretty drunk. But it's cool, Markyboy is here to take care of me", Ashley said, her voice suddenly loving and gentle.

Ah, right. The Mark and Ashley thing. He would have to get an update on that later.

"Ash, there is someone on the other line. Can I call you back?", Chris asked, a little stressed. He hated keeping people waiting.

"No, no, it's fine. I'll see you Monday, okay? Don't work too hard, Colfer!", she said, did a loud 'woooh' and then the line went dead.

He rolled his eyes and clicked over to the other line.

"Hello, you've reached Chris Colfer", he said formally.

"Chriiiiis! Why don't you answer any of my texts, I-"

Chris' head fell back on the head rest of the couch, moaning slightly. "Oh _no_, not you too."

"Whadoyamean?", Darren asked, and the pout was almost visible just through his voice.

"You are drunk."

"'m not! 'm very much sober, thank you very much."

"Sober, huh? Very well, what is my middle name?", Chris asked, his annoyance smoothing over into amusement. It was impossible to be annoyed by Darren, _especially_ drunk Darren.

Darren seemed to sober up a little at that. "Oh come on, what kind of sober test is that? I know your middle name in my sleep, Christopher Paul Colfer."

"You do, do you? What a shame I don't know yours. David, isn't it?"

"Chris-"

"Wait, wait, I can figure this out. Travis! That's it!"

"_Chris_-", Darren whined.

"Oh sorry, sorry. Of course, how stupid of me, it's Romeo."

Darren giggled at that. "Aw, that's cute. But seriously though, don't- don't you know? Cause- cause that hurts me, Chrissy."

Chris could not believe his own ears. That was low even for Darren, who even in his sober state had a certain fondness for ridiculous nicknames. "You did _not_ just call me Chrissy."

"What? It's cute. Little Chrissy-Chris."

"I will murder you in your sleep, Criss."

Another giggle." Hey. Hey Chris. Chris. You know what your name would be if we got hitched?"

"Oh god no. Darren, just how drunk _are_ you?"

Darren's voice almost drowned in his next fit of laughter. "Chris Criss! Get it? Chris is your first name, and Criss is my last name, and- and when you say it it sounds just the same. Isn't that cool!"

Chris sighed, rubbing his forehead and wishing more than anything that he could just shove a sock in Darren's mouth.

"Darren, get yourself together. Don't you have a date?", he asked.

"Yeah, I did, but she was a total bore so I ditched her", Darren said. His voice lacked the usual spark for a few moments, but soon he was back on track. "But it's okay, you know, cause I'm talking to you now and you're fun, Chris, you know?"

"Where are you? Are you at a bar or something? Go home before something bad happens, you're not making good decisions right now", Chris told him gently.

"I, well, I'm not sure where I am", Darren said. His voice was getting more and more slurry by the minute.

"Darren, tell me you are not drinking in this very second."

Darren was silent for a few seconds before saying, "Not this very second, no."

"But you were just a few seconds ago?"

Chris could picture Darren right now; sitting on the curb somewhere drinking tequila from some liquor store he had dropped by on the way home from that crappy date.

"Yeah, kind of. But I'm not that drunk, it's fine."

Chris sighed. "Have you got any idea where you are? Do you want me to come pick you up?"

"Aw Chrissy, it's _fine_. I'll just- I'll just sleep here, you know? It's kind of comfy actually-"

"Darren, don't you dare-"

And then there was a loud snoring sound coming through his phone.

"_Darren_, you did not just fall aslee- Fuck!"

Chris leapt off the couch, despite his still stiff back telling him it was a really bad idea, and rushed out into the hallway to grab a coat and put on his shoes. He grabbed his car keys and then he was out the door. Darren was passed out somewhere and who knows what kind of people were moving around this time of night on a Friday? What would he do if Darren got hurt? His heart clenched painfully at the very thought.

He dashed down the stairs and as he pushed the stairwell door open he almost stepped on a big pile of coats lying just outside. As he stepped around it, angrily wondering who the hell of his neighbours left their entire winters coat collection there, there came a muffled snore from somewhere underneath all those furry things.

"No... it couldn't be...", he mumbled as he dropped down to take a closer look.

And just as he thought, it was Darren lying at his feet wrapped up in his coat. He was still sleeping, his hair messed up and a string of saliva hanging from his open mouth.

Chris sighed and reached down to pull him up. As much as he wanted to just leave him there so he'd fully get to suffer from his irresponsibility, he couldn't stand to have him sleep on the ground like that.

Darren stirred when Chris touched him and his eyes quickly snapped open. For a second he looked panicked, but then he recognized Chris, and a dim smile crept onto his lips. He let Chris pull him up standing and wrap his arm around Darren's waist to hold him up. Darren nuzzled into Chris' arm, sighing happily. "Mmm Chris, I knew you'd find me."

"Come on, champ", Chris muttered and hauled him back into the stairwell.

After thirty minutes of part dragging, part coaxing Darren up the stairs – involving a small tantrum of Darren's when he crawled into a messy corner of the stairs and cried "I don't wanna go to sleep! _You_ sleep!" – and then they they finally reached Chris' floor. He unlocked the door with some difficulty, and not-so-smoothly got Darren inside. It wasn't so much gently coaxing then, but more a matter of grabbing Darren's coat and hauling him inside.

Darren, too tired and drunk for coherent thoughts, went straight into Chris' bedroom and collapsed onto the bed.

Sleeping in the same bed as a drunk Darren, however inviting, didn't seem to be a good plan. Chris quickly undressed his best friend and coaxed him into a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants before tucking him into bed, and then Chris himself went to get comfortable on the couch.

He was too exhausted from dealing with Darren, and decided to abandon his work for tonight and just go to sleep. He went to lock the front door and then he sloppily fell down onto the couch and fell asleep within minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am SO sorry for the super late update. I've been busy with other fics and stuff. I'm so very sorry!**

**A special thank you to GONEGleek10 for sending me a nice message that totally re-motivated me to keep writing this. Thanks again!**

* * *

Chris awoke slowly several hours later to the sound of someone shuffling around the kitchen. At first there was just the occasional clink of glass against glass, the creaking of the fridge and muffled footsteps. But then, very suddenly, there was a loud _bang_ and he jerked awake. He quickly rolled over to get out of bed and then, remembering he fell asleep on the couch, squeezed his eyes shut to await the unavoidable fall. But nothing happened. He carefully opened one eye, peering around to see why he hadn't rolled off the couch.

The only thing in eyesight was his open wardrobe door.

Wait-

How did he get into his bedroom?

Before he could begin to work out the loose strings of memories in his mind, the bedroom door creaked open and a wide awake Darren came tiptoeing in. He was balancing a tray with toast, bacon, coffee and something that looked like an omelet and his face was scrunched up with concentration. He almost tripped over the threshold and had to bite his lip not to curse.

"What are you doing up?", Chris asked, his voice hoarser than he had expected. He grabbed his phone from his nightstand to check the time. 9:47am.

"Oh, you're up", Darren said, the corners of his mouth dropping slightly.

"So are you."

"Yeah, I thought I'd make you breakfast in bed", Darren said, putting the tray down at Chris' feet.

"But why are you not hungover? You should be vomiting in my bathroom right about now", Chris said, grimacing. He had been fully sober last night but he still felt slightly dizzy and not at all in shape to bounce around the apartment making spontaneous breakfast.

"I'm a classy drunk and I don't get hangovers", Darren said, beaming proudly.

Chris quirked an eyebrow. "Classy? You didn't look too classy when I had to _carry_ you upstairs last night because you passed out outside my door."

"I didn't pass out. I was very much awake, thank you very much", Darren stated. Chris just made a face and flipped around, stuffing his face into his soft pillow.

He could feel the bed dip as Darren sat down next to him and before he knew it he had Darren on top of him.

"Dare!", he groaned, trying to shove him away but only managing to weakly punch his shoulder.

Darren gave a bark-like laugh and rolled off.

"Come _on_, I really worked on this breakfast thingy", he said, nudging the tray closer to the half-sleeping man.

"I'm not hungry, Dare. Why don't you just go throw up somewhere and leave me alone?", Chris grunted and turned his back on him again.

A bad move.

Darren kept prodding him for his attention and when none of his tricks worked – not even his best puppy noises – he grabbed a piece of toast and climbed on top of Chris and waved it in front of his face.

Although irritated, Chris couldn't help but laugh as he pushed Darren off him, only to watch him end up in a pile next to the bed. The toast fell to the floor, but Darren just picked it up and took a bite himself.

He finished chewing it before whining, "Chriiiiiis". It wasn't very unlike the noise he had made last night. "Pretty please can you wake up? Everything is getting cold."

Chris decided it was too late to go to sleep anyway, especially with Darren bouncing around his room, so he sat up and pulled the tray towards him.

"Yay!", Darren exclaimed and leapt onto the bed again, trying to cuddle up next to Chris only to be rejected.

"Nuh-uh. No cuddles for you", Chris said with his mouth full of bacon. "Go take a shower. You still smell like alcohol and cigarettes."

"Wanna come?", Darren asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Chris just rolled his eyes and gave the man a shove in the bathroom's direction. "Just go, Dare."

Darren pulled a mock sad face, but did as he was told and disappeared into the bathroom.

Chris sighed in relief and carefully cracked his shoulders to soften up. The amount of tension in his body every time Darren got too close was ridiculous.

He finished the rest of the breakfast and then took it all out to the kitchen to clean up. He had always known how messy Darren was, but he hadn't quite expected his kitchen to be a complete war zone after Darren had had his way with it.

There was a half-empty carton of eggs on one of the kitchen counters and on the floor beneath lay several smashed eggs, flour mixed with something red and sticky that Chris identified as his favorite strawberry jam. How had he even managed to mess things up this bad?

Jam hadn't even been involved in the breakfast.

The most prominent damage done, though, was the shattered glass spread out all across his kitchen floor.

With a sigh, Chris grabbed a shovel and set to work.

It took him over half an hour to clean everything up. Darren had somehow managed to spill things _under_ the kitchen counter, so Chris had to lay down on his stomach to get it all out. While he was down there he also found a lonely grape that was long since rotten. He cringed and threw it away, forever grateful for his plastic gloves.

Yes, he always wore plastic gloves when he cleaned. He hated that smell that stuck to his skin for hours whenever he was in direct contact with his cleaning supplies. It was one of his weird habits that had just stuck with him through the years.

The gloves stuck uncomfortably to his hands and wrists and he sighed in relief when he was able to pull them off and throw them in the trash. He put all the cleaning supplies away in his storage cupboard and went over to the kitchen sink to wash his hands that now smelled like rubber instead of detergents. The smell came off much easier, though, and it was easily concealed with his strawberry soap.

He hummed softly to himself as he made his way back to his bedroom to change into something he had not slept in.

Unlike the character he played on Glee, he wasn't too picky with what he wore. He grabbed a pair of jeans, one of his _many_ white undershirts and a black-and-white checkered shirt that, according some of his friends' inappropriately forward comments, 'clung to the right places and made him look sexy as fuck'. He thought the undershirt toned it down, though, and he didn't bother buttoning the top three buttons.

Just as he had pulled on the shirt, Darren emerged from the bathroom with nothing but a white cotton towel sloppily wrapped around his waist. His chest was bare and Chris couldn't help but stare at water still dripping from his body, the line of hair going down from his navel to-

Nope. He was _not_ going there.

"My eyes are up here, you know", Darren said suddenly. At first sight, Chris thought he looked offended and a little weirded out. He wanted to punch himself.

His eyes snapped up to meet Darren's and he felt the blush creeping onto his face. "I-"

But then he realized that Darren was laughing. "It's fine, Chris."

Then he did a silly twirl that truly broke the awkward tension, and Chris rolled his eyes fondly. "You're such a goofball."

Darren grinned widely. "Yep. I borrowed towels from you, hope that's okay. By the way, could I borrow something to wear? All my stuff are damp."

Chris had to bite his lip not to blurt out something stupid like "you can wear me", but managed to nod and then went to pick something out from his wardrobe.

He went for another pair of jeans and a long-sleeved black-and-red striped sweater. "It should fit, because it's a little old."

Darren nodded as he accepted the clothes. "Good, because I'm hobbit sized."

Chris smiled fondly. "Yes, you are. You're teeny, tiny all over."

Darren quirked an eyebrow. Then he smirked suggestively, and said, "Well, not all over."

Chris choked on his tongue and had to excuse himself to run into the bathroom and flail for a few moments.

"_Well, not all over."_

Did Darren intentionally try to kill him, or did he just casually say things like that while standing half-naked in Chris' bedroom?

Chris sighed and made a half-hearted attempt to smooth out his hair – his uncombed bed hair actually, which was just as untamed and frizzy as usual – before going back out to Darren. In the short span of five minutes he had already put on his clothes and left the towel in a pile on the floor.

Chris bent down to pick it up and couldn't help the shiver that ran through him as he realized Darren's wet, naked skin had been touching this towel and now Chris was running his hands over it and-

No. _No_. Bad Chris. Bad, bad Chris.

Lucky for him, he had had years of training and was now fluent in sarcasm and wit, and he had no problem to conceal his true feelings behind a joke.

"Did your mother not teach you how to behave in another's home, Darren?", he asked, and returned into the bathroom to drop the towel into his laundry basket.

"Oh, Christopher", Darren sing-song voice came through the oped door. "This is my home!"

Chris went back out to him, prepared for a witty comeback, only to have an armful of Darren a second later.

"Don't tell me you're still drunk", he muttered as Darren closed his arms around him even tighter and nuzzled into his shirt.

"Nope", Darren chirped, his hot breath ghosting over Chris' skin.

"You sure? You sound a little drunk", Chris snorted, and tried to pry him off, with no success.

Darren was silent for a few moments, as though thinking over whether or not he was actually drunk. "Nope, still sober", he said finally, happy as ever.

Chris just rolled his eyes. Darren wouldn't admit he was drunk even if he was lying on the floor vomiting his guts out, so he didn't rely that much on his word.

He finally managed to peel Darren off of him and sit him down on the bed, his hands on Darren's shoulders to hold him down.

"Why don't you take a quick nap and then I'll drive you home, okay?", he said and released his shoulder to pat his head.

Darren tilted his head to the side, making that adorable puppy face of his. "Chrissy, can't I stay? Pretty please!"

Chris frowned. "Don't call me that."

Darren lips turned downwards in a ridiculous pout. "Why not? It's cute."

Chris just looked at him for a moment, and then he turned around and went over to close his wardrobe door. Not sure if Darren could even hear him, he said, "It makes me sound like a girl."

He could almost hear the sound of Darren's eyebrows shooting upwards as the realization hit him. He knew how sensitive Chris was about not being viewed as a man. "But you're not! You're- you're- a nymph!"

Chris slowly turned around again, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You know that nymphs are exclusively female, right?"

Darren quickly shook his head, his eyes glowing with sudden excitement. "No, they're not. Everyone thinks so because in the fairytales they only mention the female ones, but there are actually male versions, too! And you are totally a male nymph."

Chris considered this for a moment. It didn't surprise him in the slightest that Darren knew this. He was the biggest nerd on the planet, after all, and if there were someone out there with greater knowledge of fairytales than Chris, then it would be Darren.

He nodded his head in approval. "Fine."

Darren seemed even more excited then. He went on for several minutes on how he had realized it during an interview in which he had compared Chris to a wood nymph and he hadn't been able to shake the thought ever since. At last, Chris was forced to realize that Darren was not planning on going anywhere and if he wasn't prepared to shove a sock in his mouth and dump him in the stairwell, then he would have to find them something to do.

Without a word he turned around and headed for the living room. Darren was behind him barely a second after.

"Whatcha doin'?", he teased, as Chris went over to his TV set and began poking around behind it.

Darren himself just flopped down onto the couch, immediately finding a, to him, comfortable position that involved him having his legs thrown up onto the back of the couch and his head propped up against the armrest in an angle that looked really painful.

But he knew that Darren had always had a weird sense of what was comfortable, and he was probably just fine with getting his neck bent in that unnatural way.

Chris retreated from behind the TV set, reached for one of the remotes on the coffee table and aimed it towards the TV.

An image popped onto the screen and Darren squealed like a fifteen-year-old fangirl.

"Ooooh, Mulan!", he cried, clapping his hands excitedly.

Chris just grinned at him and put the remote closer to Darren. Then he grabbed a blanket from the end of the couch and put it over Darren's curled up form.

As he moved to leave, Darren shot up into a seated position, his eyes widened in alarm. "Where are you going?"

"I have things to do, Darren", he said, and tried to move again, but Darren just leapt up from the couch then.

"But- but Mulan..."

"You can watch it yourself, can't you? I have to do laundry and go to the store-"

"And then who am I supposed to cuddle with?", Darren asked, pouting.

Chris shrugged. "Don't know. Why don't you call up some old flame and ask them?"

And then he pushed Darren down again, put the blanket over him and disappeared into the bathroom to empty the laundry basket.

He wasn't sure why he had said that, or why he felt so annoyed at Darren's constant cuddle demands. Or, well, he did know why it upset him, but it wasn't something he was going to dwell on.

Because, as he daily reminded himself: _straight._

His response seemed to have hurt Darren's feelings, but when he returned, he looked just the same as before. He was good at hiding his true feelings, too. The perk of being an actor.

He had snuggled up against the corner of the couch and one of Chris' decorative pillows were clutched against his chest, and his eyes were glued to the screen.

_There. He's just as fine without me. Give the guy a pillow to cuddle and he forgets all about you_, Chris thought to himself, and even in his mind he sounded bitter.

Darren didn't even look his way when he re-entered the room. There was nothing to distract Darren Criss better than Disney.

Maybe Harry Potter.

Chris went about to do his household chores – laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning the kitchen a second time as he spotted things he had forgotten during his post-Darren breakfast clean up. Darren remained on the couch and Chris could occasionally hear his voice as he sang along to the songs on the screen.

"_You're the saddest bunch I've ever met, you can bet before we're through, mister, I'll make a man out of you!"_

Chris loved hearing Darren sing. It was adorable, the way he knew every single word to his favorite Disney songs, yet he constantly forget the lyrics to his own songs. He was such a genuine fanboy and it was just so unreal that the only guy Chris had met that not only matched but actually outweighed his nerdy interests also happened to be the hottest guy he had ever set his eyes on.

Not that it mattered, or that Chris cared. He didn't. At all. Nope.

Once all his chores were done, he went to his bedroom to get some writing done. He hadn't been seated for more than ten minutes when Darren snuck in and crept into his bed. Chris was lying on top of the covers but Darren immediately crawled under them, digging his feet under Chris' legs and sighing in content from the sudden warmth.

Chris shot him several judgmental glares, but Darren either didn't notice or he didn't care.

Either way he just snuggled up against Chris' hip and fell asleep within minutes.

A sleeping Darren was far better than a speedy, hyperactive Darren, so he let him sleep. He actually got a whole lot of writing done. He felt more relaxed and content than he had in quite a while, but he refused to believe that it was Darren's presence who did it.

He mentally battled with himself whether or not he should abandon his work and just go under the covers and cuddle with Darren. He had his personal time schedule, though, and he hadn't by a long shot finished the writing he had planned to have get done for the day. It was only 3:15 am, though, so he had plenty of time to work later.

Sleeping with Darren – in the most innocent sense of the words – wouldn't be awkward, right? They were best friends. Darren was straight and Chris respected that. He was and had always been determined not to screw up their friendship because of his attraction to the man, so there was no harm in enjoying a few hours of friendly sharing his bed.

He had just moved to put away his laptop when Darren leapt out of bed, his hair wild and untamed as usual, though his role as Blaine forced him to keep it rather short.

Chris missed the whole head of hair he had had during his earlier years, particularly the Harry freakin' Potter curls, but he liked this version of him too. Quite frankly, he liked Darren no matter what state his hair was in.

But he must admit this slept on, mussed hair was a big turn on for him. Not that he had any inappropriate thoughts of grabbing those curls to tug Darren closer to press their lips together. No such thoughts entered his mind. Ever.

He was suddenly aware of Darren's lips moving quickly as he moved around the room frantically searching for something.

"Uh, sorry, what?", Chris asked awkwardly.

"I have a date in thirty minutes", Darren groaned and kept rummaging through Chris' stuff.

Chris' heart sank into his stomach. He had felt so content with having Darren there, mostly because it had almost felt like he had imagined it would feel like to have a date with him. It had felt safe and comfortable, but he had been fooling himself.

Straight. Date maniac. Female genitalia loving. Accepting of all sexualities, yet solely interested in females. Cuddles everything that moves. Those were the words describing Darren and his sexual and romantic orientations, and it was a waste of time thinking anything else.

Gay – or Colfersexual, a joke term that he had heard loosely being mentioned from fans on Twitter once or twice – wasn't, and would with most probability never be, on that list.

Yep, Chris was the most stupid person alive. He wasn't over Darren, and he wasn't sure he'd ever be. No matter how much he tried to convince himself that yes, he respected Darren's sexual preferences and no, he did not expect Darren to ever fall for him, he still hoped. It was Darren's fault for constantly flirting with him – and everyone else – and Chris' fault for falling for his act even though he knew Darren didn't mean anything with it.

But he refused to let his pain show. Years of experience of acting and suppressing his feelings kicked in and instead of breaking down, he put the laptop aside and got to his feet. His voice didn't even waver as he said, "What are you looking for?"

"Socks!", Darren grit out and ran to the bathroom. Chris could hear him frantically mumbling about "will be late" and "have to impress her".

Chris simply took a pair from his own collection and handed it to Darren as he returned, still no socks in hand.  
Darren looked from the socks and then back at Chris, his eyes widening.

He looked hesitant, but Chris firmly shoved the socks in his hands. Darren's face softened quickly, and then he threw his arms around Chris' neck.

The air went through the taller man, and not only because Darren had really _threw_ himself on him, but because it felt so right to have him there in his arms, and because he knew it wouldn't last and it broke his heart. And sure enough, the moment passed and Darren let go, pulled on the socks and darted out of the room.

Chris didn't get a single thank you. Darren just sent him a dazzling smile, that was too rushed to seem genuine, and then he stumbled out the door with his right shoe lace untied, his hair still messed up and his jacket unzipped.

Chris locked the door behind him and willed himself not to cry. He never cried, and he would be damned if he was to change that because of a stupid boy. Even if the boy was perfect and adorable and-

He just wouldn't.

Instead he turned to his greatest outlet of pain.

The entire night he sat huddled up in his bedroom, laptop perched on his lap, typing away until his fingers were sore and his eyes watering, his head throbbing painfully from the strain on his eyes from staring at the bright screen for so many hours straight. His stiff back was killing him but he didn't care. Writing kept his mind off of Darren and his date and the lucky girl currently gazing into his gorgeous, warm eyes from across the table, and Chris wouldn't stop writing until he either dropped dead or fell asleep.

The latter happened around 2am and he fell into a fitful sleep, full of nightmares of Darren and hundreds of faceless girls clinging to him, dancing with him, kissing him. A soft female voice whispered in his ear, _"He will never love you back", _and he woke with a start, covered in cold sweat.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Once again, I'm _so_ sorry for taking almost a month to update. But writing RP fics are harder than I thought and I'm writing other things as well, so it's bound to take time between updates. Sorry!**

* * *

Monday morning, Chris went back to the Glee set as usual. He didn't have a scene with Darren all day, which was a huge relief for obvious reasons, and it wasn't all that stressful either. He did see him around set, but he was careful not to end up in the same room as him with less than two other people there. Over all, the day went well.

He shot his scenes, made some chit chat with the rest of the cast, got some writing done in between shots and even managed to squeeze in a quick nap in his trailer. It was an unusually calm day to be Glee, but Chris was thankful for it nonetheless.

It wasn't until 10pm, when he was just about to go home for the night, that he and Darren once again found themselves in the same space, without any witnesses.

He had just packed up his things and turned off his laptop when there was a knock on the door. He absentmindedly called out, "It's open!", and then returned to stuffing his laptop into his bag. When he turned around to grab the charging cord, he found himself face to face with Darren.

"Hi, Chris", he cheered, and went past him to the little refridgerator he kept in his trailor.

"You should work on your manners, Darren", Chris said, accompanied with an eyeroll, before he returned to packing his bag. "I was actually just going home."

"Oh, great, we can go together", Darren said, completely unfazed by Chris' attempt of dismissing him. He pulled the fridge open and surveyed the contents for a few moments before grabbing a Diet Coke. "You really should try something other than Diet Coke, man."

"What's wrong with Diet Coke?", Chris asked, insulted. He snapped his bag shut and threw it over his shoulder. "It's delicious."

"You know what's delicious? Apple juice, man. Fucking delicious."

"I prefer Diet Coke, thank you very much", Chris all but snapped.

"Relax, I was just kidding", Darren said, raising an eyebrow at the other man. Stepping a little closer, he said, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing", Chris bit out. "I'm just tired."

Darren hesitated a little. Then he put the Diet Coke back in the fridge and said, "Look, I don't know if I did something wrong but you've avoided me all day now."

Chris hesitated, too. He wasn't sure whether he should tell Darren or not. Things could get really awkward, and he didn't want that. Darren was his best friend. If he lost him, he would lose a part of himself, and he couldn't have that.

Instead, he sighed, and said, "You didn't do anything, Dare. I've had a rough day, that's all."

Darren eyed him carefully for a few seconds before deciding to deem his excuse worthy.

"Okay. So, how about I buy you something to eat, and you drive me home as a thank you?", he said, that annoyingly gorgeous smile plastered on his face.

"Why don't you drive home yourself?", Chris asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Joey came by and asked for the key to our apartment because he lost his, and I forgot that my car keys were on the key ring, too", Darren admitted, rubbing his temple with a sheepish grin. "I have a date at 11 so-"

"A date", Chris repeated, his voice suddenly hollow and detached. "Of course."

"What?", Darren asked, his triangular eyebrow curling upwards again.

"Nothing", Chris said, in a tone of voice that clearly stated they were done talking about it. "Let's go, then."

Darren, as the puppy that he was, was quick to change the mood of the situation, and he easily resumed his earlier chirpy attitude. "Great!"

Chris locked the door behind them and then they exited the set area and walked out to the parking lot. Darren slipped into the passenger seat, and Chris settled behind the wheel.

"So, where do you want to go?", Darren asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I'd buy you a late dinner, remember?"

"Oh, right. Well, you don't have to. I'll fix something at home", Chris said simply.

Darren opened his mouth to say something but seemed to think better of it, and finally closed it again and turned to look out the window as Chris backed out of the parking lot.

They were silent for quite a while, Chris focusing on the road and Darren staring blankly out the window.

The moment they parked outside of Darren's apartment, Chris finally drew a breath of relief. Darren opened the door and was halfway out when he changed his mind and doubled back.

"Look, Chris, you're obviously upset about something and I hate leaving things all weird and stuff. Would you like to come in and get a cup of coffee or something?", Darren asked, his eyes burning holes in Chris' ivory skin.

"I really don't know, Darren, I think I need to go home and get some rest."

Darren sat back down fully, then, and reached out to grab Chris' hand. It was spontaneous and casual, yet the firm hold of Darren's warm hand made Chris' insides flutter magically, and he couldn't help but squeeze back.

"You're my best friend, Chris, and I really care about you. I just want you to be happy, you know?", Darren said, and Chris could tell he was really sincere.

Darren was nice and cozy with basically everyone, but there were certain small acts of affection that he saved for Chris, and for Chris only. And the frequent "are you sure you're okay?" were one of those things. There wasn't another person on earth he so frequently asked how they were feeling. He always inquired Chris' current emotional state, and when he was feeling down Darren always did everything in his power to turn that frown into a smile, and when he was happy he shared that happiness.

Because, even when Chris couldn't or wouldn't allow himself to see it, Darren always had his best friend's happiness at heart.

"I know, Dare", he said softly, holding his hand a little tighter. They sat there for a while, hands remaining linked together, as they just gazed at each other through the dim light of the car. Darren was just about to move – Chris couldn't tell if he was about to move forwards or backwards, and perhaps he didn't want to know the answer to that – but then they were interrupted by a sharp knock on the glass window on Darren's side.

Darren yanked his hand away from him, and Chris was sure his now Darren-warm palm was about to burst into flames from the painful loss. They both turned to stare at the window, and all Chris could see was the vague outline of what seemed to be a female. Darren seemed to piece it all together, though, and scrambled to open the door. He very clumsily got to his feet and wrapped his arms around the girl in a quick hug.

"Carolyn! Hi! I was- I was just about to call you. My car is stuck at set so Chris – you know Chris here, my costar on Glee", he did a quick gesture into the car, and as the girl peered past him, Chris felt forced to wave a polite hello to her. It wasn't her fault every fibre of his being loathed her for having her hand on Darren's arm. "-he drove me home. We could go get dinner at that place around the corner, unless you'd be okay with walking a bit?"

Hadn't Chris interrupted him there, Darren would surely have forgotten his presence and continued on his conversation with the girl – _Carolyn_. Her mere name made Chris' insides squirm uncomfortably, and he was almost overwhelmed by the feeling of disgust. She seemed like a perfectly nice girl, really, but she was just _touching_ Darren and no one was supposed to touch him but Chris.

He was being silly. Silly was an understatement, really; he was being absurdly possessive and overprotective, without any real reason.

Darren was not, or would ever be, his boyfriend, property or child; thusly, he had no right to judge who he dated.

But no matter how rational his brain was, his body was ruled by his heart, and his heart wanted to punch the bitch who stole Darren away from him.

But mind rules the body, he reminded himself, and he forced another, although stiff, smile.

"Darren, I'll just go, okay? See you tomorrow", Chris interrupted them, and reached over to pull the door close. Only that he couldn't, because Darren reached out at the same time to hold the door open.

"Carolyn, why don't you go inside and I'll just have a quick word with Chris", Darren told his date, that gorgeous smile effectively disarming both her and Chris.

She nodded and, with a final wave to Chris, she turned and went into the stairwell to go up to Darren and Joey's joint apartment.

Darren slipped back into the car and tried to reach for Chris' hand again, but he firmly put it out of reach, his eyes not really meeting Darren's.

Didn't he understand that he couldn't hold his hand one second, then go out and hug his _date_, and then come back and try to hold his hand again? It didn't work like that. Darren might be fluid with physical affection for people he wasn't dating, but that didn't mean that Chris was.

He didn't want to hold hands with Darren, because it was too painful knowing that was as far as they would ever get. But Darren didn't know that, and he didn't pick up on the hints Chris dropped, either.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. Can't keep her waiting, you know? But if you want to talk, just call me, and I promise to pick up. You're always my first priority, Chris", Darren said, watching him anxiously.

Hadn't he just met Darren's date for the evening, the constant reminder of Darren's unfortunate sexual preference, then Chris might have allowed Darren's sweet, promising words to calm him and make his stomach flutter with all those love-sick butterflies that usually resided there when he was around Darren. But considering the circumstances, all he could muster was a dull ache at the reminder of what Darren would be doing later that eving, whilst Chris would once again be stuck – alone – in his own apartment.

He couldn't bear to speak, so he just gave a weak nod. Darren sighed and, before Chris could do anything to stop it, he leaned forward and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him into an awkward, due to the angle, yet warm and promising hug.

It lasted longer than the average hug, as did most of their embraces, but then Darren eventually pulled away and left the car. He smiled before closing the door and going up to unlock the front door with the access code and slipping inside, out of view.

Chris was left sitting in his car for several minutes, as he felt too shaken to attempt to drive too soon. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles whitened, and he had to pull himself out of the post-Darren haze that was so easy to drown in.

He eventually started up the engine and drove off, and perhaps he was a little more reckless than usual due to the recent events.

The worst part was that everything – his car, his clothes, his skin, _the whole damn world_ – smelled like Darren, and he just knew he was in for another night of pouring his heartache into his writing whilst simultaneously crying to some sappy movie on cable TV. It wasn't something he was proud of, but it was how he dealt with things whenever he didn't have Darren's shoulder to lean on.

And, as predicted, he fell asleep later that night, around 2am, with tear streaks down his face, the ending credits to Love Actually playing on the screen in front of him.


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you really sure about this, honey?"

"I'm certain, Lea."

"Okay, then."

She looped her arm under his and tugged him along into the building ahead of them. In an attempt to lighten the slight tension, she said, "So... how have you been?"

It did its purpose somewhat, and he gave a small smile. "We work together every day. You know everything about me and how I've been."

She nodded seriously. "True. But I also know you well enough to know that there's something you're not telling me."

"Why would you think that?", he asked innocently.

"Well, mr Colfer, I do believe this is the first time you called me up on a surprise visit to the animal shelter at 7am on a Thursday morning."

He actually laughed then, hugging her arm. "That's true."

"So...?"

"So, what?"

"So why are we here at 7am on a Thursday morning when I don't have to be at set until 11am to shoot?"

Chris gestured around them, and she turned her gaze from him to the room around them. They were indeed in an animal shelter, although they had only reached the lobby yet.

Chris released her arm and went up to the counter, where a woman dressed in white sat on a chair and typed away on her computer's keyboard.

"Hello, excuse me", he said politetely, though still startling her despite his gentle tone. "I called yesterday to book an appointment."

She smiled and nodded in acknowledgement. His voice was quite the giveaway, after all. "Yes, of course. Mr Colfer, was it?" She abandoned her keyboard and leaned over to flip through a stack of papers. She soon pulled out a sheet and flattened it out against the table. "And I understand you were looking to adopt?"

He could hear an intake of breath from Lea behind him, but he ignored it for the time being. "Yes. Yes, I was."

"Very good. Okay, mr Colfer, why don't we go take a look, and then fill out the paperwork if it comes to it?", the woman said, standing up and giving him a slight smile.

"Terrific", he said and turned to smile at Lea. "Surprise, huh?"

"And what exactly are you adopting, Chris?", she asked, an eyebrow raised.

"A cat, of course", he said, as if it was obvious. "I've always wanted my own cat."

"And you think getting a cat right now is a good plan?", she asked hesitantly.

"Yes", he said firmly. "I-", he hesitantly turned to look at the woman in white who stood waiting, door opened for them, a few feet away. She was politely turned the other way, obviously trying to demonstrate her discretion to their conversation, but he still didn't feel comfortable discussing the true reason for his recent cat adopting-plan in front of a complete stranger. "I'll catch you up later, okay? Now let's go look at some cats."

Lea rolled her eyes, yet she still took his arm again and together they followed the woman into another room, filled with long lines of cages.

The woman gestured around them, and said, "We take in all kinds of stray animals here. Mostly cats, of course, and we get them in all forms and shapes. Some are found on the streets, others are handed in from their owners when they don't want them or can't care for them anymore. Some are taken from owners who mistreat them, and others just end up here for other reasons. Don't worry, though, we make sure they get medical treatment and are free of diseases before we put them in foster homes, or adoptive families. If there are any medical conditions you should know about, they are mentioned in the files."

Chris nodded and let his eyes wander over the cages, taking it all in. The woman went further into the room, telling little background stories about various of the cats.

Lea and Chris followed her, and whispered between themselves as she spoke, looking at the different cats and listening to their stories. Some were utterly heartbreaking, and some were- well, slightly better, yet not exactly _happy_ stories.

"I just want to adopt them all", Chris whispered as the woman told them briefly about a black and white 2-year-old that had been close to death when they found her a couple of months ago on the streets.

"You can't", Lea whispered back. "You couldn't even keep your fish alive."

He grinned at her and elbowed her gently in the side. "Could too."

The woman interrupted them with a "oh, this one is a real sweetheart, he was a summer cat a year ago. We got a call when the family abandoned him, and we've had him ever since".

Chris shot Lea a sideway glance, and she shook her head. "Only one, hun."

He nodded too, and heaved a sigh. "That's why I brought you. You'll help me stay strong."

That was a sentence he would found himself to regret exactly five minutes later.

Chris had decided he would adopt one cat and nothing more. At least for now.

That cat would be the one who truly _spoke_ to him, that he felt in his heart was right. That was his plan, at least, until Lea found a quite big, tabby cat in one of the bigger cages, and she squatted on the ground in front of its cage, a row of lovey-dovey nonsense flowing out of her mouth.

"Um, Lea? What are you doing?", he asked hesitantly. He had expected her to stay strong and help him through the emotional hardship of picking just _one_ of all these adorable darlings. And yet, now he found himself having to pull _her_ away from them.

Though, thinking about it, he couldn't understand why he had chosen her out of all his friends. She was probably the most likely to break down and adopt all the cats she laid her eyes on. What had he been thinking?

He sighed inwardly. His brain was really turned off nowadays, and he would gladly blame it on Darren, but maybe that was a little unfair.

"Chris, come look at this one! He's the one, I can feel it!", she said, waving him over.

All he could see from his angle was the tabby cat's back, and at first he didn't see the spellbounding charm that had captured his friend. But then Lea pulled him down on his knees next to her, and he found himself staring into a pair of light green cateyes, and he was done for.

"Yes", he said firmly, never leaving he cat's eyes. "This is the one."

The woman stood beside them, smiling down at them. She looked a little surprised at the choice, seeing as the cage only next to the tabby one had an adorable kitten, but she kept her mouth shut.

"Chris", Lea breathed, completely ecstatic. "He is the cat version of you, I swear. Look at those sassy eyes!"

Right then, the cat broke eye contact with Chris, closed his eyes and put his little cat chin on his paws, almost instantly falling asleep.

Chris felt a soft pang in his chest, and he just _knew_. Everything about this cat spoke to him; his eyes, his pointed ears, the whiskers and hadn't he always said a proper cat should be on the bigger side? This one met all his expectations, and more.

"Can I take him right away?", he asked breathlessly, still gazing at the sleeping cat.

"Yes, I suppose so. Let's go fill out the paperwork then, shall we?", the woman said, smiling and glancing between the cat and its soon-to-be new owner. "I must warn you, though, that he is 7 years old and-"

"Perfect. Absolutely perfect", Chris interrupted, finally getting to his feet. He beamed at her and looked over at Lea who got up as well. "Can I pick him up?"

The woman nodded, and she bent down to unlock the cage door. The cat stirred and opened a lazy eye to look at her without much interest.

She picked him up, although she winced at the obvious heavy weight, and was quick to hand – or rather _heave_ – him over to Chris.

Chris glady took him in his arms, and was awarded with a calculating look from the cat. A few seconds passed, their eyes never leaving each other, and then the cat squirmed in his arms, reached up to lick swiftly across his cheek, and then flopped back down and fell asleep, with its head propped against Chris' arm.

"He is your soulmate, I swear", Lea said, and Chris could tell she was seconds away from squealing mode.

He placed a kiss atop the cat's head, and then reluctantly put him back into the cage. He didn't leave him there, though, but convinced the woman to let him carry it out to the lobby before signing the papers. The actual paperwork took a while, and once he and Lea left the shelter, cat cage in hand, it was still not done and he had promised to be in touch to finish up.

In his hand he now carried, as he had instantly named him, Brian Colfer; 7 years and 20 pounds at the latest weighing. He had already picked up all the stuff he would need for him the day before; now it was just the matter of getting home and settling in with his new companion.

"Not that I don't support this", Lea said, grinning at the cat sleeping in its cage. "But how come you decided to do this now?"

Chris looked down at his cat – his Brian – and then up at Lea again. "I-"

She knew about his crush on Darren, of course. Her and Ashley were the only ones he had had the courage to tell.

"It's Darren", he said finally, avoiding her gaze.

She didn't pass any judgment, though, but only said, "Okay."

He nodded, and they continued to his car, putting Brian's cage in Chris' lap in the passenger seat. She had already started up the engine and driven out of the parkinglot when he spoke next.

"You know he's dating all these girls", he said, fiddling with the bars of the cage. "And it's like- it's like he enjoys rubbing it in my face."

"I'm sure he doesn't do it on purpose", Lea said confidently. "He cares for you, he would never intentionally hurt you."

"I know", Chris agreed. "And maybe it's not on purpose, but he must still know what he's doing. Right? He must see how it affects me. He can't be _that_ blind. He's always showing up at my apartment late at night when he's had a crappy date, and then he expects me to feed him and cuddle him to sleep." He snorted, and crossed his arms over his chest. "And I'd love to do those things for him, it's just I _hate_ being his second choice all the time. And every time he comes over, my expectations slowly get higher, and when I actually think he likes me too, some girl shows up and he disappears quicker than Mark and Chord to a free-for-all buffé."

"Well, you know Darren better than most of us, and you know he usually lives in this world filled with rainbows and sunshine, and he isn't always aware of the effect he has on people. Remember that poor girl Alyssa that thought she was dating him for _months_ when he wasn't aware of it at all? He said they were just friends, and she thought he was flirting with her because he was always smiling." She shook her head, almost pitifully. And then, as an afterthought, she added, "He's kind of like Blaine in that way."

Chris groaned. "If he's Blaine, then why can't he be _my_ Blaine? I'm Kurt! I'm the one he's supposed to be with. Not the Rachels and Quinns he's out with nowadays."

"What's wrong with Rachels?" Lea asked before she could think about it.

Chris shot her a pointed look, and she blushed. "Right. Not the important part. Okay."

She thought about it for a few moments and then said, "Maybe he does like you, he just doesn't realize it because he's, well, _Darren_. He just needs more time. Dating that many girls in a row must mean he's confused and a little lost."

"No matter how confused he gets, he's still straight. He's made that very clear in interviews, and last time I checked I wasn't a girl."

"Of course you're not! You are _Christopher Colfer_", she said, playfully elbowing him in the side. "He'd be crazy not to like you. _I've_ had a crush on you since day one and I'm not even a guy."

That forced another laugh out of him, and he smiled over at her. Then Darren-related thoughts re-entered his mind, making him groan and letting his head fall back on the backrest. "God, I wish I was a girl", he muttered, and absently put a finger in between the bars of the cage to scratch Brian's ear. He was unusually calm for a cat being brought from its home.

"Oh, honey, you don't know how lucky you are", Lea sighed dramatically. "You've got lines of guys wanting you, and what do we girls get? Your leftovers."

Chris couldn't help but smile at her attempt to cheer him up. She was one of few people who could make him feel better in times like these. "There are hardly any lines of waiting admirers."

She gave him a wink and said, "Maybe more than you know."

He just rolled his eyes fondly at her teasing. Then, feeling like she deserved to gush about her love life too, he said, "Well, from what I've heard, you are the one with the special admirer."

Her face immediately went red and she turned to look at the road. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mhm, sure. I recall one day at set when I went to get some water and found you and another someone sucking face by the water bottles. I believe his name was Co-"

"Yes! Yes, okay!", she gasped, and reached over to slap his arm while still keeping one hand on the steering wheel. "Yes, alright, Cory and I are kind of dating again."

His grin faded into a pleased smile, and he grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly. "I'm really happy for you."

"And _I'll_ be happy for _you_ once you and Darren sort out your stuff and get together", she said, winking at him.

He just rolled his eyes. "You're living in fantasy land, as usual. He is straight."

"Is he, though?", she asked, suddenly serious. "I mean, yeah, the guy is a cuddlewhore, but honestly Chris, there isn't a moment on set when he's not looking at you. Even when you're just sitting with your laptop, he's always watching you."

"That's because he's a creepy stalker", Chris joked. "It's not because he likes me."

"Chris", she groaned impatiently. "Open your eyes! He _does_ like you. I've tried to be subtle but god, you just don't want to see it."

"But if he likes me, then why is he dating every girl in the state instead of telling me?", Chris asked.

"Why are you adopting a cat instead of telling _him_?", she countered.

"Well played, Michele."

She grinned, although she didn't take her eyes off the road.

"I just don't think you should be so quick to throw him away, you know? If you just tell him you like him, maybe he can say it back."

"I really don't think so", Chris sighed. "He _is_ straight, no matter what you or the fangirls of Tumblr think."

She raised an eyebrow, and he simply rolled his eyes. "_I _have not been on Tumblr. Darren has. He told me people 'ship' us together. He had a good long laugh about it."

His voice was bitter and harsh.

"So what you're saying is that he goes on Tumblr and looks up stuff about you two?", Lea asked, eyebrow still raised in question. "Sweetie, I'm sorry, but he is _so_ into you. It's so obvious!"

"He is _not_", Chris insisted. "He did it for fun, to joke about how unrealistic the fans were being about us being together."

"I don't know, I think he likes you. You could at least tell him how you feel, and if he doesn't feel the same way, well-"

"-we'll just have to work together and endure that awkwardness every single day until the day Glee is cancelled", Chris continued gloomily.

"Yeah", Lea admitted. "But if he likes you too, you might get everything you ever dreamed of."

Chris fell silent.

Yes, if Darren did feel something for him too, then things might be perfect. At least as close to perfect as they could get.

But could he risk losing Darren's friendship over it? No.

He absentmindedly scratched Brian's ear through the cage, and sighed.

"I've given up on him", he said. "From now on, Brian and I are on our own. I won't waste another second dreaming of Darren or any other guy, for that matter."

Lea glanced his way, a worried frown on her face, but she didn't argue.

But, she thought, she might have to have a conversation with Darren about all this unless either he or Chris admitted their feelings to the other soon.

Because she was certain Darren was as gay as they come, at least for Chris. Problem was, if he actually did like Chris, Darren would probably be the very last to know. He was so annoyingly blind sometimes.

So now the question was; how could she get him to realize his attraction for Chris?


	7. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hi guys!

I know everyone hates these not-a-chapter-updates, but I feel like I have to do this.

I'm having the worst writers block for this story and I'm honestly not getting anywhere with the next chapter. I'm not fully abandoning it, but I am putting it on **hiatus** – for how long, I don't know. Maybe a week, maybe a month, who knows. However long it takes for me to get my inspiration back, I guess.

I'll really try to get into the story again and keep writing, but I'm honestly just really stuck right now and I feel _horrible _about this, but I figured a (hopefully short) hiatus was better than writing a really crappy chapter and ending it abruptly and badly (ahem, like I did with the sequel in my Whatever words-series...).

I'm really sorry and I hope no one hates me for this! :(


End file.
